Mackenzie Hughes ‘25 

Asking for a friend 

I have invited some participants to discuss with me what they think these professions are. Below are their responses. They have chosen to remain anonymous out of embarrassment. 

Question 1: What do you think the job of a consultant is? 

“To advise companies based on mathematical findings how they should better run their company and further maximize profits.”

(Ok we get it, you did Fullbridge) 

“To consult.” 

(My sentiments exactly) 

“Like a therapist but their client is a company.” 

(Imagine Dr. Phil telling a CEO how to re-strategize) 

Question 2: Who is a bursar? 

“A person who validates whether or not I can take classes.” 

(Yes, after you tell them how much you should pay to take them after an exhaustive amount of paper work and they negotiate you can actually pay more even though the exhaustive amount of paper work says otherwise)

“A person who deals with money and sends me emails” 

(those emails are most likely about money)

Question 3: What does the “3” in data scientist 3 mean?

“No idea” 

“I don’t know” 

(I have no idea either, I was just curious. I do believe that googling how to unjam a printer is somehow involved) 

“He is the third one” 

(Third what? Third jedi? Third member of the quartest? I must know!)  

Question 4: What do you do if you are a financial analyst? 

“Advise a company on where to put their money in the stock market based on predictions you make from market trends.” 

(Are these the people I need to ask to invest in my hot dog zip line product?) 

“Analyze finances.” 

(This person did not do Fullbridge) 

“Financially analyzes.” 

(I should hire someone like this to budget my dining dollars)