Michael Vail ‘24

Switching Back to Hulu, At This Point

The battle between Netflix and their users has always been a fierce one. Netflix is not profiting as much as they would like to due to widespread account sharing, and their users don’t want to pay for the service they’re receiving. Last February, Netflix announced a significant change to their current policy. They dictated that the owner of the account must decide a primary location and only devices at that IP address would be allowed to use the account. This decision inconvenienced many users, particularly college students away from home and high schoolers trying to binge during class.

Most of us believed this new policy would be sufficient, but Netflix has announced yet more changes to get back at their users for stolen profits. Netflix’s CEO reportedly whispered the following to himself in the bathroom mirror: “I’m not letting up now. Playtime is over. This is the final nail in the coffin.”

The first change on the table is a facial recognition feature that prevents unverified users from accessing content. The owner, as well as other individuals who pay an additional cost, must upload an image of their face to Netflix’s database. Each time a user opens the application, they must turn on their camera for verification before accessing any of the application’s content. Users who watch on a television or some other device without a built-in camera are encouraged to connect an external camera to be able to use the service. This is what commenters had to say about the policy:

“I bet I’ll look very flattering to Netflix, with my bedhead and giant tub of ice cream.”

“Finally, an excuse to order that cardboard cutout of myself.”

“If I can’t see them, they can’t see me!”

The other change Netflix has proposed is a limit on the amount of content users can consume in a 24 hour period. Binge-watchers, beware. The basic plan allows each account a total of three hours of content per day. Each minute beyond comes with an additional charge. This is what commenters had to say:

“So you’re telling me that if I want to watch the extended edition of my favorite movie, and it runs longer than three hours, I have to pay extra? Tell me how this makes sense.”

“I’m actually okay with this. My doctor told me I shouldn’t keep my eyes glued to the screen for too long. I was too weak-willed to do it myself, so I’m glad Netflix is making the decision for me.”

“I’m about to spend half of my available time watching different shows for five minutes each, trying to find one I like.”

“Will they charge me for reading the descriptions?”

“Is that three hours in standard or daylight savings time?”

Popular user feedback indicates an overwhelmingly negative response to Netflix’s new policies. The next best alternative, one user admits, is to “…browse YouTube Premium’s movie selection.”