Julianna Mariani ’24

Roommate Expert

I’m lucky enough to have been blessed with the greatest roommates of all time, but what happens when you’re living in close quarters with someone who you consider to be the spawn of Satan? I have heard quite a few horror stories during spooky season of the traumas of living with people you don’t get along with. Holy Cross is notorious for doing a great job matching roommates based on cleanliness, sleeping schedules, and Montserrat clusters, but what happens when you and your roommate don’t get along? This year especially, with the uptick of first-years, I have heard of more and more roommate complaints.

As my philosophy professor likes to say, “Living in the dorms is hell. You never have a second alone.” Even though this logic is based on “seeing people when they are not themselves” and “becoming conscious of the unconscious” and lot’s of other reasons I’m not totally convinced of, he may have a point. Living with a roommate or roommates can be a difficult adjustment, even if you shared a room with your sibling growing up, it’s not exactly the same. You have to learn how to be polite, tell them if you’re having guests over, be in a semi-good mood most of the time, etc. You can’t yell at them if they won’t put headphones in or chuck a pillow at them if their snoring woke you up. I mean, you could, but I don’t see that going over well. 

Recently, some members of the Holy Cross community have come to me seeking roommate advice. Since I am the golden example of a roommate and literally can never do anything wrong, I decided to share these with you in case you’re in a similar predicament. 

Emily Smith ‘26 asked, “What should I do when I come home from Dinand at night, and my randomly assigned roommate is sitting at her desk with one light illuminating her face, waiting for me to come home? She’s always sewing something and refuses to break eye contact with me when I come in. I’m convinced she’s my grandmother reincarnated and has come to drag me into the afterlife with her.”

I responded to this query with, “Girl, first of all, if your grandma is coming back from the dead to kill you, that’s a whole separate issue that I don’t think I’m qualified to help with. Regarding the roommate though, what I would suggest is taking her sewing stuff one day while she’s out of the room and getting rid of them (doesn’t matter how; fire, water, out the window, etc). If she decides to take up crocheting or knitting, that’s when I’d request a transfer.”

Ruby Matthews ‘25 sent in, “I thought I knew my friend last year, but ever since we decided to become roommates in Wheeler, she is nowhere near who I thought she was. She seems to have become obsessed with Hello Kitty. I went to bed one night after being at school for a week (everything had been good up until that point) but when I woke up, our entire room was covered in Hello Kitty merch. My three year-old cousin isn’t even this obsessed. She changed BOTH of our sheets to Hello Kitty. There are posters covering all four walls. She got rid of my backpack and replaced it with a Hello Kitty one with wheels. I couldn’t even get into the room the other day because it was being barricaded with a parade size inflatable Hello Kitty. I don’t know what to do because she’s so happy all the time and I don’t want to crush her dreams, but this is actually my nightmare. I’ve even taken to sleeping in the shower stalls to avoid that cat’s face.”

This piece of mail was even more unsettling than the sewing roommate and really all I could respond with was, “At this point, you might as well transfer entirely.”

I know, I know, I give great advice, thanks for listening in, and be sure to send in your roommate struggles if you’re looking for any help! I thoroughly enjoy laughing my head off at the things I’m sent because I just can’t relate!

Photo by College of the Holy Cross