Michael Vail ‘24

Entomologist

     I found a mosquito on a windowsill in Kimball today, at coordinates 42.2401347, -71.8083961. Feeling particularly philosophical, I referred to our mission statement in search of guidance.

     What are our obligations to one another? What is our special responsibility to the world’s poor and powerless?

     Note from the author’s personal editor: We have absolutely no obligation to mosquitoes. They’re the worst. They deserve to be poor and powerless. Why did I agree to edit this?

     I pet the mosquito on its tiny head and dashed away. I scanned the trays for appropriate food, deciding that the gluten free menu was a safe option.

     Note from the author’s personal editor: Unfortunately, my Google search “Are mosquitoes gluten free?” has come up empty. I would have chosen the vegan nuggets, though. They’re actually pretty good. Kimball’s been off to a solid start this year, so I don’t think you’d go wrong with most choices. Why am I getting invested in this?

     I placed the food in front of Sullivan—

     Note from the author’s personal editor: YOU NAMED IT?

     —and brushed a few crumbs in its direction. It didn’t eat them. It started blankly. Not moving. Not biting me.Note from the author’s personal editor: I’m here to finish up this article myself, as the author is currently running away from his desk, crying about the dead mosquito. Let this be a lesson for us: we have a responsibility to everyone around us, but do not fret if our efforts are not enough. Or just don’t take care of dead mosquitoes. I don’t know. I’m going to bed.