Grace Manning ‘21
Unsolicited Senior Holy Cross Critic
Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles.
The Senior class was relieved to see that they were kept on the list of those who received Father Borough’s email concerning Fall 2021. Without the sentence, conveniently in bold, “I am happy to announce that we are planning for a return to fully in-person classes and on-campus activities for the fall semester”, the seniors would have never known about the plans for reopening after their graduation. Seniors were overjoyed that the school would be returning to normal; the fact that they wouldn’t be there to see it hardly mattered to them. They were glad to be featured and acknowledged in the email with the lengthy and sympathetic one-sentence promise of an in-person commencement and the joining of the alumni family to look forward to, during a Spring already chock full of exciting news.
To add to the thrill of the announcement, Father Boroughs promised to keep us updated with Fall plans through regular email updates! The senior class looking forward to learning even more about what is to come next fall for everyone except them. The specifics help the seniors understand what the Fall will be like and this is essential in knowing what to expect when they don’t return to campus in August. No more social distancing, back to in-person classes and resuming all normal college activities are just a few of the compelling pieces of news included in the email. This “look forward to the fall” comes at the perfect time in the semester, when seniors are feeling hopeful that senior events will be as good as ever. It is so exciting to think about the zooms and virtual occasions that are planned to cap off the seniors’ final year at Holy Cross. The entire Senior class is waiting in anticipation of more emails like this one!
You need more fiber in your diet. Unsolicited advice, but just sayin’