A Tale of a Freshman

Michael Vail ‘24

Resident Bard (Remote)

Gather round, boys and girls, gather round!

Tonight, I would like to welcome you all to a compelling story of a young soul beginning college…

‘Twas the night before August when a letter arrived.
Young Tyler retrieved it and widened his eyes.

It read, “Room Assignment,” in elegant text.
At that point he knew what he had to do next.
He thought, “I must plan for semesters ahead!
I’ll buy some new outfits and sheets for my bed!”

Those items, he bought, and oh-so-much more!
With pens on the stairs and books on the floor.
“A brand-new backpack? Of course, I will need it!”
He made the last purchase, his wallet depleted.

He called his companion with no time to lose,
“Andrew, my friend, did you hear the good news?”
“Yes!” replied Andrew, “We’re roommates this year!
Now I foresee kinship and infinite cheer!”

They would move in soon, but nevertheless,
The pair set off on a glorious quest
To visit the Hill and blissfully roam
The place they were eager to call their home.

Fields and towers and statues galore!
They thought it would end, but they only found more!
Alas, it grew dark, and ‘twas time to depart,
But a piece of the campus would lie in their hearts.

‘Twas the night before move-in when a letter arrived.
Young Tyler retrieved it and widened his eyes.
He stumbled and wept as he realized his fate,
For the letter announced, “Important Fall Update.”

Photo courtesy of
“Better make sure I buy everything I need ahead of time before I move to campus! Let’s see… bedding… a TV… backpack… clothes… computer… boy, I can’t wait for the school year!”

Categories: Eggplant

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