Bridget Flaherty ’21
If you’re anything like me, your every waking moment these past few days has been consumed by thoughts of Meghan Markle’s NYC baby shower extravaganza. Just take a moment to relish in every wonderful detail of this event: the Duchess of Sussex is going on a five-day baby-shower-bender in New York City with her celebrity friends. This sounds like a Disney Channel Original Movie that I dreamed up in middle school or a raunchy comedy starring all of your favorite comic actresses and an SNL sweetheart in her first film role. I’m seriously hoping it more closely resembles the latter, but I assume that Queen Elizabeth would prefer a more PG trip. Sadly, the current information about this year’s biggest event is disappointingly sparse, but I’ll fill you fellow Markle-ites (do we like this Markle Army, yes or no?) in:
It was reported on Tuesday, February 19, 2019 that Meghan Markle secretly flew to New York to celebrate her baby shower with friends. Very vague. Very exciting. The phrase “secretly flew to” is one that I hope to be associated with one day. Subsequent reports explained that she actually arrived in the city this past weekend and celebrated the shower today. What is the point of a 24-hour news cycle if I’m not notified of the Duchess of Sussex’s whereabouts in a timely manner?! She spent her weekend in the city brunching, lunching, and visiting museums (The Tig would be so proud). But the real moment (and I’m sure it was a moment) occurred on February 19.
General consensus is that fifteen guests were in attendance, celebrity stylist and Markle BFF Jessica Mulroney and the Guinness World Record Holder for most wedding receptions Priyanka Chopra are presumed attendees. My guest of honor is obviously the legendary Serena Williams. I have long been fascinated by the friendship between Meghan and Serena and have a lot to say about it, but I’ll save that for another article. Abigail Spencer, her Suits co-star was spotted arriving at the Mark Hotel —the setting for this monumental event — with Meghan, thus she will obviously be in attendance at the par-tay (Long live Suits!!). I’m sending this article to Meghan’s people ASAP, and hopefully they will find it to be favorable and secretly fly me to the party.
Unfortunately, at the time of writing this article, there are no more details to be found about the baby shower to end all baby showers. However, (hopefully) all details will be revealed by the time this is printed, so I’m going to end this piece with my most wild predictions about Meghan’s celebration and hope that I’m deemed a psychic in the near future: Amal Clooney was in attendance and she brought a bottle of Casamigos tequila. Serena Williams and Meghan Markle belted out “Shallow” during karaoke hour (yes, there was a karaoke hour). Priyanka Chopra handed out tickets to the Jonas Brothers reunion tour. Samantha Markle, a real-life evil step-sister, tried to break in but was stopped by security. It was later revealed that she was mic’d up and on an undercover mission for OK! magazine. Most importantly, Meghan had a lovely time sipping mocktails and pretending she was one of the Sex and the City girls. Although, she and Mulroney did get into an argument over which of them was the “Carrie” of the group.