The Spire

Holy Cross Cupid

NEW! Holy Cross Love Advice Column

Question: I have a crush on a guy I have no classes with. What do I do?

Answer: I have a three-step plan to hopefully initiate a natural — totally not stalking — approach to reach out to your crush:

1. Check Instagram. Make sure they’re not cuffed. It’s dropped below 50 degrees in Worcester, and you know what that means…it’s cuffing season. You don’t want to waste your time on a guy who has his girlfriend plastered all over his Instagram or is the main headliner for National Boyfriends Day.
2. Smile and make eye contact. Honestly, this goes a long way. If your head is in your phone, your crush isn’t going to know you exist. If your crush reciprocates the Holy Cross smirk, this might be a go-ahead to start a conversation with them in the future! If the smirk doesn’t work, don’t worry—you might need to try a more direct approach, as described below. 
3. Start a Kimball conversation. Since your crush is not in any of your classes, and you see them around a lot, you need to make the times you see them count. My go-to? If I run into them in the Kimball line, commenting on the questionable food almost always works. Nine times out of ten, there’s something strange being served to chat about. Also, complimenting their clothing or shoes (some guys really love shoes) can be a good strategy! Everyone loves to be complimented. It can be intimidating to talk to your crush, but the reward really outweighs the initial awkwardness. If someone wants to talk to you, they will be happy you said something.

As you know, everyone knows everyone at Holy Cross. If you are too shy to start a conversation, try to see if you have a mutual friend who can set you up with them. Sometimes all it takes is one introduction, and the rest is history! 

Best of luck with your crush, I can already hear the Holy Cross Chapel bells ringing!

Love, 

Holy Cross Cupid

Question: I’ve been hanging out with this girl for a while. We have gone out to eat together, we hang out all the time, she calls me babe, and most nights I sleep in her room with her. She also told me she loves me. Does she like me back?

Answer: 

So after reading your extremely limited description, I turned to my most trusted adviser, my Magic 8 Ball. I gave it a few shakes and asked if she’s into you. Unfortunately, the answer came back a hard no. You, my friend, are stuck in the friend zone.

Something tells me you might be leaving out a key detail, like when she said, “I love you, you’re like a bro to me.” Don’t worry, “bro” can easily be misheard as “babe.” It happens to the best of us. 

Just to clarify, eating in Kimball at the same time as someone doesn’t necessarily count as “going out to eat together.” That’s just a funny coincidence, especially considering Kimball is our only dining hall.

Also, regarding your sleepovers on “most” nights, I can’t help but wonder who is staying over the other nights.

Best of luck finding a new girl, hopefully one who actually likes a clingy guy. 

Love, 

Holy Cross Cupid (Satire)