Matt Anderson ‘21 Award-Winning Holy Cross Choir Roadie One Holy Cross Junior has resorted to desperate measures to remain connected to the Holy Cross community. Photo courtesy of Father Boroughs. Back in 2007, Google™ embarked on an ambitious project, one that would see every one of your ex’s […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Still hiding on campus WORCESTER, MA– The College of the Holy Cross, now fully transitioned to online distance learning, has issued a stern disciplinary warning to the members of Caro, Boyden, and College streets, who have since formed an online presence over the remote conferencing […]
Matt Anderson ’21Known to Lot-Goers as “Matty Ice” Everyone should remember their first time. I know I do. A timid first-year, I looked both ways before crossing College Street. Little did I know venturing into a busy road was far safer than my final destination… Catalina. Soon enough […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Genuinely Concerned In an impromptu interview conducted in an Alumni bathroom this weekend, a first-year student, Ivan Ichianus ‘23, expressed concern that the person in the stall next to them may be in dire straits. “He’s been there every time I’ve gone to pee. I didn’t […]
Matt Anderson ‘21Chief Eggplant Editor Attached below is a copy of Father Boroughs’ Valentine’s Day email draft leaked to The Eggplant. Dear Members of the Campus Community, As we begin what feels like a particularly busy Spring semester, I want to wish you and your classmates a joyous […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor It may seem innocuous. It may even be seen as having a little fun. But a leaked FBI dossier has revealed that shopping at the Holy Cross bookstore supports a vile industry of monopoly and organized crime. “I’ve seen a lot of vile […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Big Christmas Guy As finals draw closer and most Holy Cross students teeter the line between ingesting lethal levels of caffeine and having a mental breakdown, a holiday mania has also begun to sweep campus. Trees, tinsel, and Mariah Carey have infiltrated every facet of […]
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Something felt wrong the morning after the time change. At first, I chalked it up to the questionable choice of trusting a Kimball sausage patty. However sitting in Stein, as I emerged from a vivid daydream to look at the time, I was […]
By Matt Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Coming off of Holy Cross’ dodransbicentennial milestone (that’s classics for 175), many have overlooked that another beloved fixture of the college is experiencing its own anniversary. The student academic records system, or, as it is more affectionately known, “STAR,” has just turned 75! […]
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Hogan— Though it is a weekly event, and many have heard of it, few have actually partaken in Popcorn Tuesday. While it fills Hogan with a pleasing smell, most people simply don’t want to seek it out. Have you gone to it? “I […]
Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor Note: This article appears in The Spire’s satire section, The Eggplant. As they arrive on the Hill, many first-years must come to terms with the fact that their romantic notions of the college experience are, in fact, a fantasy. Although James McDavid ‘23 was […]
By Matt Anderson ’21Ciampi Truther It looked to be a normal day. The weather was fair and I was traveling to Cool Beans to interview a fellow student who had reached out. “I mean have you ever been inside it? Ciampi Hall I mean,” blurted the student, who […]
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