Tag: mario micallef

Krispy Vaccine

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [Krispy Kreme Drive-Thru, Conway Arkansas, 5:35 A.M.] [A tan 1999 Toyota Celica pulls up in front of a green and red picture menu display and speaker.] Woman In Speaker: Hi there! Good Morning! Welcome to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!! My name’s Patty. How may […]

Circus

Mario Micallef ’22 Solanum Melongena Peer across the deserted circus.  Its tittinope floors with abandoned popcorn and cotton candy strewn about. Left by shifty poltroonery children.  Sodas dropped and split in haste across the sticky floor cry out: Why oh why weren’t we guzzled like the prophecies spake? […]

Eye Eye

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor The red T Is where I be. Plan is: meet, eat meat, maybe a treat? The screech & the voice, I stand for Kendall Street. Oh, no. The handle strap. It hit my eyeball, oh crap. I’ve got the plague; I’ve got it […]

Urchin Father

Mario Micallef ’22 [Tim swims & snorkels in the shallow waters of Newport Beach. His wife, Maybel, lays tanning.] Maybel: Tim, honey, let’s eat!  [Tim remains underwater.] M: Timbelthon Jones, I’m starving. Get out! [Tim shoots up out of the water screaming and splashing.] Tim: My foot! My […]

Re-Creep

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor Breaking news. A letter was sent to The Big Daily Scoop in 1992. This letter has sat behind our basement mailbox. We finally have the rights to publish it (It’s more that I just got really lucky finding it. I wonder if I […]

Urchin Father

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [Newport Beach CA, July 5, 1:30 p.m.] [Tim swims and snorkels in the shallow waters of the beach. His wife, Maybel, sits on the beach and sunbathes.] Maybel: Tim, honey, let’s eat!  [Tim remains underwater.] Maybel: Timbelthon Jones, I’m starving. Get out of […]

Gubment

Mario Micallef ’22 An Eggplant Editor [Interior of a recording studio within a semi-abandoned corporate building in a suburb outside of Tampa, Florida, Tuesday, 7 a.m.]  [Chester Bigly, hosts the conservative radio show “Bigly Right” where he has a special guest for the day’s show.]  [Chester holds a […]

A Thousand Word Picture

Mario Micallef ’22 An EggPlanting Editor [On a Teleprompter, somewhere out There.] “A picture paints a thousand words,” so they say, but does it really? Find out all about it tonight on Eggplant Live, with me, your host – Rosel McDork.  [Queue uplifting yet stern, royalty-free broadcast music.] […]

Haircut

Mario Micallef An Eggplant Exquisite choice Bernadette. Yes, one long cut across my bangs goes stupendously with my four eyes and buck teeth. I cannot wait to see Bruce in Gym class tomorrow. I am sure he will have nothing but nice things to say to me. Gone […]

All Ears

Mario Micallef Eggplant Editor All Ears Once there was a girl, and she was asked a question. “Girl, do listen up, will you hear my newest obsession?” Girl wore a thick dark cloak; nobody ever saw her reflection. “Indeed I shall, Madam May, I am all ears.” She […]

Giraffa camelopardalis

Mario Micallef ‘22 Eggplant Editor The Giraffa camelopardalis, or “Giraffe” as the uneducated would put it, is the tallest living terrestrial animal native enough to call the Savanna desert home for millennia. It may come with grave news to the 13 remaining fans of Kiss that Gene Simmons, […]