Mario Micallef ’22 Chief Eggplant Editor College of the Holy Cross took over the Beige Hawk sports bar on Greenie St. last Thursday night. Now for those of you who are not familiar with the Beige Hawk establishment, close your eyes and think of 2006 and 1983. Now […]
By: Mario Micallef [Monday, 8:32 a.m., Worcester Massachusetts, 42 degrees with a thick stagnant haze over the College of the Holy Cross campus. A large flock of crows lands on the south ledge of the Fenwick spire and some perch on the sun-roof of the adjacent building, Smith […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 A senior questions whether it’s too late to attend culinary school after successfully following the instructions to a Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie recipe. A sophomore, acting like a cool bean in Cool Beans, accidentally blew on his donut instead of the hot coffee in his […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 Eggplant Editor It’s true. I did. His name was Rodrigo and he was terrific. More specifically he was an iguana. Oh, how I miss him so. I had just flown in. I had a 24 hour layover. It was about 6:30. The sun was on […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 Chief Editor A senior nearly faints from sheer bliss after noticing the giant painting in the lobby of Stein for the first time. Dead sparrows have been seen in droves all over campus, assisting in the Kimball chicken shortage. Anonymous student removes the flesh tail […]
Name: Mario Micallef ‘22 Position: Eggplant Editor Major: English Eggplant title of their life: No, Princess Peach and I do not speak to each other anymore.
Mario Micallef ‘22Hard News Guy Professor gives her class a pop quiz because, “You all decided you could pull hooky for an entire week. Not on my watch.” First-year seen crawling on top of the Kimball roof looking for what his senior teammate called ‘Upper, Upper Kimball.’ […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Has all the tea College of the Holy Cross, Worcester, MA Senior falls asleep in class only to wake up as a Sophomore in March 2020. Uber-Eats driver leaves a cold, mediocre, & slightly incorrect order at Hogan 3, but returns for it 2 minutes later […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Big Monopoly Guy Worcester, MA — After devouring a Fluffernutter French toast the size of her own head, a local woman told reporters Sunday that the ATM at Miss Worcester’s diner printed out Monopoly money over the weekend. “I was freaking out because practically half a loaf […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Certified Deck-Scrubber “I guess we’ll just have to get used to this.” oozed Professor Diameter with his usual nasally monotone utterance. It was the second class we had in the Fundamentals of Stapling, the first course requirement for the Accounting major, and already there were 5 […]
Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [An advertisement on a screen inside the Las Vegas McCarran International Airport plays on a small monitor to the immediate right of an Ellen slot machine next to the Southwest Airlines B23 Gate.] [For 30 seconds, played on loop, an alluring female voice […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 Eggplant Editor Hello (I am sitting on the ground, no, I’m laying on the hardwood floor. I don’t know why I lied right there. Maybe it was internal shame. Yes, in fact, it was. But I have to speak now. The ants coming off my […]
The Spire 