Tag: mario micallef

It’s All Tone

Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor [Aboard the T, Bill and Bikus sit next to each other enroute to Grafton] Train Voice Announcement (stern and annoyed): Get off only at a door accompanied by an MBTA staff member! Bill: Why does he say it like that? Bikus: People are stupid […]

Nocial Sorm

Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Listen, I like breaking social norms as much as the next guy but if we are meeting for the first time and you make no effort to share your social security number with me do not expect me to smile and do the head […]

Randy

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [A 2004 Panasonic corded desk phone rings] [The ringing stops after the 3rd chimed loop]  Randy (through the phone):Randy  Bernice: Hi Randy, this is Bernice.  Randy: Yeah, I know who it is.  Bernice: I’m going to start the stew around five, do you […]

Dining Ballers

By Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor If you were able to sift through the weekly dump of incessant Popcorn Tuesday emails as well as the totally indubitable Student Government emails, then hopefully Father Boroughs’ schoolwide email last Monday stood out to you. For those of you that got lost […]

A Shuttle Frizzles Over

Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor A shuttle bus turned to chaos Monday night as a strange woman tried to take the bus hostage enroute to Boston. Reports say that a woman with glasses and frizzy hair wielded a small green dog at folks waiting in the bus. Jack Elizabeth […]

“And You”

By Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Oh, what a terrific move that was. No, no one saw you. There you go, just like that. Put another in your mouth. Why don’t you wipe your hands off on your shirt again? You’ve got to be down to the last of […]

Tunnel Time

By Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Editor’s Note: The Eggplant is The Spire’s satirical section. “Your campus looks like Hogwarts.” You have definitely heard that at least a quarter of a million times during your years at Holy Cross, a.k.a HoCro, a.k.a Hilldum, a.k.a come-on-people-let’s-try-to-make-this-year-scandal-free. Sadly, we here on […]

ɹɐʇS ll∀

ploɯ ǝɥʇ ʞɐǝɹq sɹɐʇs ƃuᴉʇooɥs ʎluO ploƃ sᴉ sɹǝʇʇᴉlƃ ʇɐɥʇ llɐ pu∀ ploɯ ǝɥʇ ʞɐǝɹq sɹɐʇs ƃuᴉʇooɥs ʎluO ploƃ sᴉ sɹǝʇʇᴉlƃ ʇɐɥʇ llɐ pu∀ pᴉɐd ʇǝƃ ‘uo ʍoɥs ǝɥʇ ʇǝƃ ‘ɹɐʇs ʞɔoɹ ɐ ǝɹ,noʎ ‘ʍou ʎǝH ʎɐld oƃ ‘uo ǝɯɐƃ ɹnoʎ ʇǝƃ ‘ɹɐʇs-llɐ uɐ ǝɹ,noʎ ‘ʍou ʎǝH ʍolƃ […]

Rotmans Robbery

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor New England’s Largest Furniture store ‘Rotmans’ claims that they have been robbed. We sent our top reporter to get some information on the case. Tomisthe TheifJones spoke with the manager of Rotman’s to get her take on the matter: Tomisthe TheifJones: Hello. You […]