[Totally Real] Upcoming Events

Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. “How to Give a Performative Response: Show Students You Care Without Actually Helping” webinar presented by the Holy Cross Deans on Monday, March 29th at 4 P.M. This month’s 15th zoom webinar to […]

myHC Launches Dating App Service

Grace Bromage ‘23 Single and ready to mingle… on myHeart?? Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Covid-19 has certainly changed many aspects of personal life, especially dating. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have seen increased usership since the […]

Crusader of the Week: The Campus Stairs

Kelly Gallagher ‘22  Winded Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Name: Bane (of this community’s existence) Hometown: Worcester poured and raised!  Major: Physical Education Campus Activities: Hazing new students, forcing people into shape, bringing the community together through shared […]

The Place to Be: The Jo

Bridget Flaherty ‘21 The Jo’s Resident Treadmill Squatter Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Worcester’s hottest club is … the Jo! It has everything — treadmills, ellipticals, squat racks, college-approved COVID tests, rowing machines, massive bottles of hand sanitizer, […]

Wanted: The Holy Cross Crooks

Nicole Letendre ’23 Liaison to the D.U.H. Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. While Holy Cross is known as a relatively safe campus, a recent emergence of a notorious creature on campus has provoked a spike in stolen food […]