Rev. Philip L. Boroughs, S.J., president, who is deeply affected by the news of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s split, is requesting that all American flags on campus fly at half-mast for a grace period of six days, with one day for each of their children. The news […]
Perissology: Greek. The act of not shutting up. Jesus Christ, I start thinking my roommate is majoring in perissology whenever he starts talking about his feelings for Natty Light. Hoddypeak: A fool, simpleton, or blockhead. Quagswag: The act of shaking to and fro. I told my boyfriend he […]
In a sudden yet predictable turn of events, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has announced that he has fired his current campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, the third in a string of replacements of the position following the departures of Corey Lewandowski and Paul Manafort. Executive Steve Bannon has […]
This article is inspired by and borrows elements of its structure and style from the First Satire of the Roman Satirist Juvenal. Anyone who wishes to learn more about Juvenal can contact Professor John Hamilton, who is currently teaching a course on Juvenal in which the author is […]
In an amazing display of the extent of the English language, Holy Cross freshman finds 10 ways to say the same exact thing to her roommate to fill the void during the walk from Hanselman to Kimball. “Yeah, we’re not that close,” the word-bender explained to Crusader reporters. […]
As the finale of this season’s “Ellen DeGeneres Show” nears, speculation over who will appear as the media giant’s final guest continues to grow, with rumors ranging from Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, to Oprah-grown Dr. Phil, all the way up the popularity charts to Jesus Christ Himself. As […]
Amidst the controversial choice by Apple to remove the headphone jack from the forthcoming iPhone 7, the technological juggernaut has taken it upon itself to announce plans for the iPhone 8, likely to ease tensions between the company and its customers. Apple CEO Tim Cook and Chief Design […]
This year’s presidential election is now in full swing, and both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are out for votes. However, between the partisan vitriol, the mendacity, and the focus on non-important issues such as the size of a candidate’s hands or whether or not a candidate has […]
