By Christine McLaughlin ’21Staff Writer Last Thursday I had the pleasure of sitting down for a meal with a member of the Holy Cross Class of 2020. She reached out to me the day before over email, saying that she was “deeply troubled” by something and “needed to […]
By Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Oh, what a terrific move that was. No, no one saw you. There you go, just like that. Put another in your mouth. Why don’t you wipe your hands off on your shirt again? You’ve got to be down to the last of […]
By Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor On September 24, 2019, Governor Charlie Baker issued an order that sales of all vaping products be prohibited for the duration of four months. The response from the Holy Cross community was immediate and vicious. You see, much like shotgunning White Claws and […]
By Hannah Johnson ‘21Russian Queen Privet, rebyata. This is a special report: I, the only active Holy Cross student studying abroad in Russia, have also accepted a position as an Eggplant editor. Let me tell you…ohoho… we’re in for some fun. Little by little I shall conquer the […]
By Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor and Fearful Junior Most of us who have lived on the Hill have felt it: the worry that something you love has been found by unworthy hands. You see it when an upper-class student takes the stairway beside Kimball, glancing behind them nervously […]
By Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Editor’s Note: The Eggplant is The Spire’s satirical section. “Your campus looks like Hogwarts.” You have definitely heard that at least a quarter of a million times during your years at Holy Cross, a.k.a HoCro, a.k.a Hilldum, a.k.a come-on-people-let’s-try-to-make-this-year-scandal-free. Sadly, we here on […]
Editor’s note: The Eggplant is The Spire’s satire section. By Hannah Johnson ‘21International Memeologist September 20th came and went — those who weren’t brave or curious enough to make the pilgrimage to Nevada instead waited eagerly on social media to hear about the results, and how many fools […]
Editor’s note: The Eggplant is The Spire’s satire section. By Christine McLaughlin ’21Eggplant Contributor Holy Cross senior Chris from Long Island has been making quite the stir in Williams Hall with his most recent choice of decoration: the side of a Coors Light box mounted on his wall […]
Mario Micallef ’22 I find myself so distant from the coastlines of bliss. I find myself intertwined within the peels of a gangly soft yellow shell. What little respect you possess. Blame, blame, shame, shame; your bottom won’t remain. There are more of my kind in here, […]
Hannah Johnson ‘21 Absolute Madman “What an awful time of year,” said a distressed student in Kimball. “I was trying to down two Claritins for my allergies while I was carrying my essay, as well as four study guides I’d just printed out in Dinand, and suddenly the […]
Anne Hentschel ’19 Eggplant Editor Oh you may not think I’m pretty, But don’t judge on what you see, I’ll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I’m the Holy Cross […]
By zkcjla;dfj I went to Battle of the Bands for once, and I was surprised by the results. I don’t know how the judges score these things, but here’s how I see the two finalists. Seething intensifies SCONE™ Not enough big bouncy balls. Limited variation. Same 4/4 feel […]
