Greg Hausler ‘20 Eggplant Editor/Gamer Breaking: The Eggplant has obtained records of a Holy Cross student requesting an extension on all assignments due to injury. While this seems like common procedure, our sources have leaked to us that this story is the first of its kind but signifies […]
Jocelyn Buggy ‘22 Carole Baskin fed her husband to a tiger On Wednesday, April 1, election results revealed that Officer Gracie of the Dept. of Public Safety was voted Student Government Association President. The two-year-old Goldendoodle received over 99% of the vote after a month-long campaign. An outspoken […]
Matt Anderson ’21Known to Lot-Goers as “Matty Ice” Everyone should remember their first time. I know I do. A timid first-year, I looked both ways before crossing College Street. Little did I know venturing into a busy road was far safer than my final destination… Catalina. Soon enough […]
Hannah Johnson ’21Eggplant Editor Chief Editor’s Note: This isn’t one of Hannah’s typical articles. It isn’t made to be satirical, which may lead to questions over why it was included in the Eggplant. However, in an email she sent when she submitted the article to me she said […]
Greg Hausler ’20Eggplant Editor Life in quarantine is no fun. Life in quarantine with no sports to watch or bet on is quite possibly the closest thing to H E double hockey sticks that anyone could possibly go through. With no sports to watch, I like many others […]
Dane Anderson ‘20Theory Crafting Campus Hiding Spots The Spire works to deliver hard-hitting journalism, but during these times, we’ve had to rely on eyewitness accounts rather than direct reporting. The recent scoop from the international students trapped in Figge suggests that not all of the evicted students have […]
Greg Hausler ‘20Eggplant Editor On Sunday, President Donald J. Trump attended the Daytona 500 and made history as the the second US president to kickstart the Great American Race with the trademark, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” and the first of any president to take a lap in the […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Genuinely Concerned In an impromptu interview conducted in an Alumni bathroom this weekend, a first-year student, Ivan Ichianus ‘23, expressed concern that the person in the stall next to them may be in dire straits. “He’s been there every time I’ve gone to pee. I didn’t […]
Hannah Johnson ‘21Assistant to the regional editor Ladies and comrades, I have another small glimpse to offer into my life abroad in Russia. The first “Day in the Life” was about a clown in a Starbucks–this one is about a dapper Bingo Boom Man. …also taking place in […]
Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor [Aboard the T, Bill and Bikus sit next to each other enroute to Grafton] Train Voice Announcement (stern and annoyed): Get off only at a door accompanied by an MBTA staff member! Bill: Why does he say it like that? Bikus: People are stupid […]
Matt Anderson ‘21Chief Eggplant Editor Attached below is a copy of Father Boroughs’ Valentine’s Day email draft leaked to The Eggplant. Dear Members of the Campus Community, As we begin what feels like a particularly busy Spring semester, I want to wish you and your classmates a joyous […]
Greg Hausler ’20 Eggplant Editor It’s that time of year ladies, gentlemen, and first years. Love is in the air, valentines are being sent, and friends are sending dank Valentine’s Day memes to each other. Although the vast majority of us are going to be spending our Valentine’s Day […]
