Eggplant

When Is It Too Early To Start Wearing Coats?

Julianna Mariani ‘24

When is it too early to start wearing winter coats? This is a genuine question because I have heard SO many mixed reviews. I have one friend that’s literally been wearing her winter coat since Sept. 1. It’s more like a security blanket, actually. I never see her without that thing. Bink, if you’re reading this, it’s okay, we all need comfort. Remember my emotional support water bottle? 

I can’t say I’m much better, though. I’m constantly cold and practically live in my coat from the months of November to February. I’ve been cold since three Wednesdays ago and begged my parents to bring my coat to campus for family weekend because I idiotically forgot it upon coming back from fall break. I forgot how much I love big coats. They’re so warm and comfy, and don’t even get me started on the pockets. How have I lived without coat pockets the last nine months? My parka has such spacious ones. I kid you not, I fit 15 plastic forks in there the other day. It’s always a pleasant surprise when I find gifts for myself in the depths of my coat. Crumpled up dollar bills, sticks of gum, chapstick, tissues, etc., etc. They’re also the perfect place to store an AirPods case, which is why you can always see me walking through campus thinking I’m in a music video when I have my coat on. Song of the week: “Somebody Else” by The 1975.

Two of my other friends have decided to wait until after winter break to bring back their coats. I’m convinced they’re going to freeze in the next couple of weeks and I will have no sympathy. Who chooses not to wear a coat in 30 degree temperatures? I know the weather has quite literally been very hot and cold recently, but why would you not keep one on hand just in case? Also, to the same point, who are you insane people that have been continuously wearing shorts? Now I promise I’m not one to fashion shame, but it just simply isn’t socially acceptable to be wearing khaki shorts when you can see your breath outside. It’s just not. 

Anyway, this is my question of the week because I’d really like an answer. Am I ridiculous for already wearing my coat? Should I have waited until after Thanksgiving? I know I’m a New Englander and the cold weather isn’t supposed to affect me, but somebody has to make those Floridians feel comfortable wearing their scarves and hats. No, sorry, that’s a cop-out, I’m just always freezing.

Categories: Eggplant

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