Eggplant

The New Guy On Campus

Julianna Mariani ‘24
Antisocial Gal

Our first edition of The Spire! Welcome back to The Eggplant! It’s certainly been an eventful two weeks since arriving on campus… a lot has happened thus far… more than I was anticipating anyways. As a sophomore, this is my first official fall on The Hill. First in-person classes; professors actually do exist, who knew? First self-serve Kimball experience; kind of weird rationing by myself. First non-virtual clubs; got to meet the members of The Spire in person! And the first time seeing campus this busy; what’s up with the two hour wait at Croads every night?

Things are finally starting to go back to ‘normal’ and I could not be happier. Well, I guess that’s not necessarily true. We do have some restrictions in place… I almost fell over last week when that email came out. You know… the one where President Rougeau tells us this guy Delta has snuck onto campus. I love meeting new people, I really do, especially after almost two years of a pandemic but this Delta dude is really not a vibe. We were here one week – ONE week – before he decided to drop by. I guess he had been making his rounds off-campus for a bit before he came through so that’s why his arrival was a smidge delayed but nevertheless, he made it! He’s super quiet so you never actually know when he’s around, which you would think is a good thing, but it’s actually kind of annoying. He’s always sneaking up on you. I mean as long as you’ve got a shot he’s not that bothersome except for the fact that he ruins your social life a bit. Kind of sucks away at it actually. You know the type – the ones that don’t let you meet anyone new because they’re so insecure and feel the need to latch onto a familiar face.

He’s super cool for sure… minus the occasional red flag… and I don’t want to talk about anyone behind their backs when they’re not here to defend themselves… but he’s definitely thrown a wrench into the semester. It’s not even officially ‘spooky season’ and he’s still here scaring the students, faculty, and staff. I mean dude, chill, you’re not going to make any friends if you come onto campus immediately freaking everyone out. He’s already traumatized 79 kids and they all had to bounce off campus for a bit.

Anyway, for the most part it’s been a blast. Everyone is psyched to be here, although I still feel like a freshman so it’s quite weird knowing that there are people younger than me on campus. I’m always thrilled when I know how to help first-year students get from one place to the next. It’s really my favorite thing when people ask me for directions on campus, it means I at least look like I know what I’m doing with my life. 

I digress, the point of this article is really to tell you all to stay safe; Delta’s pretty unassuming when you first meet him, but he turns toxic pretty quick.

Categories: Eggplant

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