Davey Sullivan ‘22 

News Editor

Disclaimer: This is not a factual news article. It is a satire piece.

In a recent independent ethics probe conducted by the Spire, it has been revealed that beginning in October 2020, the Holy Cross administration had begun spending copious amounts of the operating budget on marketing the myHC platform for students as a “useful” and “worthwhile” app to download. 

This budget inquiry comes after scrutiny toward Holy Cross for keeping tuition at $35,000+ for classes held entirely on Zoom for the Fall 2020 semester. The Spire has been acting as a budget watchdog because 35,000 a student was deemed to be a large amount to pay when their were virtually no operating expenses outside of zoom accounts. 

The probe revealed that Holy Cross had diverted funds for pushing myHC away from many other important campus uses, including funds used to give beloved Gracie the HC Police comfort dog an adequate haircut, severely limiting dining options like Crossroads, Coolbeans, the Pub, and Lower Kimball, closing the Lobby Shop at awkward hours, completely closing the Kimball Bakery and Cafe Babel, funds used to keep gates to campus unlocked on the weekends, limiting access to study spaces at night (chiefly by locking the door to Smith at approximately 7pm), as well at heating buildings like Fenwick over the weekends. 

The long list of budget cuts provided Holy Cross with the power to try and convince people to use the app. Marketing campaigns calling the app “adequate” and a “fine” outlet for campus activities were used to push the app and the platform. This came before a time where people were able to see other notifications on their phones other than myHC alerts. 

MyHC has drawn overwhelmingly negative and apathetic responses from students, with an anonymous sophomore commenting to the Spire that, “there is no practical reason for the app whatsoever. Let’s get Gracie a better haircut.” 

The app allows students to connect with groups on campus that they are a part of and have largely been able to connect with before the introduction of it. Additionally, the app sends many, many notifications so that it is absolutely ensured that no one will miss any news from any Holy Cross group, even if that means that students miss other important notifications on their phones. The Spire is continuing its ethics probe into the way that the Holy Cross administration is spending its budget. The Gracie haircut funds will be especially scrutinized until they are returned.