Eggplant

Off-Campus Seniors to Create Bubble For Catalina Wine Mixer

Sean McNamara ‘21

Staff Writer

In a press conference held at the parking lot of Chieftain Liquors last week, representatives from the streets of Caro, Clay, Boyden, Dutton, and College announced that they will be following the footsteps of professional sports leagues such as the NBA, NHL, and WNBA in creating a bubble-like environment in the parking lot between Clay and Caro in order to ensure a virus-free Catalina Wine Mixer this fall. The announcement came after much speculation as to how the event, which has highlighted the fall semesters of Holy Cross for years, would be able to occur during a pandemic that has, according to one anonymous senior, “Totally ruined the party scene this year, bro.” 

The event has been dubbed: “The Catalina Wine Mixer 2020: Chardonnay Shuffle,” a title the representatives said, “Makes sense because of the bubbles in Chardonnay, y’know?” All those who wish to attend will be quarantined in the houses surrounding the parking lot where the event usually takes place for the two weeks leading up to the party. This has drawn mixed reactions from some of the houses that would be potential hosts. Patrick Shea from 10 Clay Street, on one hand, said “We’ve already probably lost the security deposit on our house, so we don’t really have much to lose at this point.” Joseph Doerr from 29 Caro Street, however, remarked: “Nah, no way man, I don’t want, like, people in my house for two weeks… that would be brutal.” Either way, the plan has already garnered plenty of enthusiasm, as one source was quoted as saying “mad heads are rolling through.” 

While the bubble certainly has gained traction, some may be looking to both figuratively and literally burst it. Sources within the faculty of Holy Cross have been anonymously quoted as saying things such as “Please stop asking me about this dumb idea, I am your English Proefssor.” and “Who are you?” when reached for comment. Furthermore, two separate groups of students are rallying against the proposed idea. A group of seniors who are against the idea of throwing the party all together have started posting the phrase #ACAB on Twitter, meaning “All Catalina’s Are Bad.” Furthermore, a group of underclassmen have reportedly been planning an unwelcome appearance that would ruin both the safety and enjoyment of everyone involved. 

While it is yet to be seen if the Chardonnay Shuffle will be executed, it is clear that the conditions of 2020 have forced people to be creative in order to obtain a sense of normalcy.

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