There is a Monster on Campus. Please Believe Me.

Michael Vail ’24

My name is Amon Gus. I am a freshman at the College of the Holy Cross, and I am petrified.

I had just moved into my residence hall about a month ago, and I hadn’t been able to focus on my studies because of some strange occurrences. It started with the lights. Every few hours, the power seemed to mysteriously shut down. I also had lost my internet connection a few times, rendering it impossible to receive my homework assignments and considerably impeding my progress. Most outrageously—I s*** you not—a man in a spacesuit kept popping out of the vent in my room.

The first time it happened, I did what I imagine most people would do: I scheduled a meeting with the RA and a few other residents, hoping they had seen the intruder as well. You wouldn’t believe it—they thought I was lying! How could I make that up?

“I swear, I saw it come out of the vent!” I pleaded, but to no avail.

Soon after my outlandish report, I noticed some of the residents avoiding me. Merely a few weeks on campus and my classmates already began to think I was a freak. Wonderful.

I tried to let it go and move on with my life. I promise, I considered that the spaceman was a figment of my imagination. I really did. But I couldn’t stop imagining the creature staring into my soul as I slept, and I knew I had to do something before anyone else became a victim. So I took a risk and called another meeting.

As you may have predicted, none of them believed me. One of them claimed they had been watching the hallway cameras and had seen nothing, and with that, my argument was null. Instead of hearing me out they only responded with a series of complaints:

“Don’t drag us to a meeting again! I have work to do!”

“Hmm, and why are you the only one who sees it?”

“To be honest, you’re acting kind of suspicious…”

Before I could explain myself further, they called for a vote to remove me from the residence hall. I could not believe what I was hearing! I admit I was being disruptive, but I was truly in danger! My only intention was to do what was right.

Still, I had no evidence and my behavior was indeed suspicious. To my misfortune, I was voted off the premises.

It has been a week since my departure. Though I write from the safety of my bed, the spaceman’s clouded gaze haunts me whenever I close my eyes. As I lie here, recalling those fearful moments and the nightmares they induced, I can only pray for the safety of my classmates. It’s only a matter of time before that dreadful creature preys on another student, and at that moment, they will regret ignoring my cries. I’m counting on it.

Photo courtesy of the Internet.
A picture I snapped of the spaceman. The RA said it was photoshopped.

Categories: Eggplant

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