Bridget Flaherty ’21
If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessed with celebrity culture. I relish in the emergence of new couples, even if their union is an obvious publicity stunt (I’m looking at you, Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas). I frequently refer to them using just their first names, as though they’re my close personal friends. I devour tabloid articles, despite knowing how unethical and incorrect they are. To sum it up, I LOVE celebrity culture. But, right now, I wish all celebrities would just go away.
Celebrities are driving me nuts. More specifically, their desperate attempts to remain relevant during a global pandemic is driving me nuts. When I’m not directing my pent up rage at one of my unsuspecting siblings, you can bet I’m screaming at my phone for notifying me of the creation of yet ANOTHER celebrity “good news” Instagram show — Yes, this is a direct dig at John Krasinski. GO AWAY JOHN! I don’t CARE what the Hadids are up to during quarantine and I don’t need “Vogue” to publish spreads of them frolicking through their expansive backyards in $700 jeans and Gucci sweaters. I don’t need billionaires to tell me that we’re all in this together while they’re quarantining on their private island and I’m wrestling with my brother over the last granola bar in the cabinet. Don’t even get me started on Justin Timberlake’s misfire of the week (feel free to look it up if you’re in the mood to scream at your computer screen).
Right now, in a time of massive, worldwide devastation and mourning, celebrities are the last thing on everyone’s mind. I understand a need for escapism through content unrelated to the news, but I don’t necessarily think it should come in the form of Instagram live. The unabashed self-promotion that is the foundation of celebrity culture and social media that typically fills me with glee is instead leaving me with a poor taste in my mouth. Basically, and I never thought I’d say this, I want celebrities to go away. Just shut off your phones and chill out. Don’t join TikTok. Don’t try to save the world by donating half of the proceeds of your disgusting wine to charity. Just be quiet for once, please.
Photo Courtesy of SLATE.