Kelly Gallagher ’22
Chief Features Editor
Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles.
Hometown: The woods behind Figge
Campus Activities: Joining the RAs on their nighttime rounds, dumpster diving, perfuming
Favorite Movie: “Swamp Thing”
Favorite song: “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” by Nirvana; “Baby Come Back,” by Player
Favorite singer/group: Panic! At the Disco
Favorite color: Toxic green
Favorite sports team: It seems like there are a lot of talented sprinters on campus!
Favorite class taken at Holy Cross: Entomology because of all the free snacks
Favorite Professor: The ones with night classes – I appreciate that they work with my schedule
Item on HC Bucket List: See what the inside of a dorm building looks like
Biggest HC Regret: Trying to sneak into Spring Concert without a wristband
Embarrassing HC Moment: A student called Pub Safe complaining about weed use, but it was just me taking a nap
Bragging Rights: I look absolutely smashing in stripes
Words to live by: Deodorant is an option, not a rule
One thing you would change at HC: I hear you guys are looking for a new mascot…. Hint hint….
Favorite TV Show: “The Bachelor” – such finer trash I have never seen
Favorite Book: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
Favorite food: Those weird brownies the first-years make
Favorite Drink: Apple cider vinegar is so fragrant
Favorite spot on campus: Wherever you least expect to find me
Favorite off-campus restaurant: Taco Bell. Their dumpster delight is to die for, and I almost have.
Guilty Pleasure: A spritz of Chanel No. 5
Some small things that make your day better: Getting a nice pat on the head, so don’t be afraid to say hi!
First thing you do when you wake up: Check my morning breath
Last thing you do before going to bed: Reload
Favorite place you have traveled to: I’m quite the homebody, but I travelled to Wal-Mart once!
Role-model: That raccoon on TikTok that squeezed down the gutter
Something you look forward to when you go home: Fumigating
Post-Graduation Plans: I dream of opening my own flower kiosk
Favorite memory at HC: Waking up early one evening to watch the sun set over Dinand with my friends