features

Bridget’s Declassified Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

Bridget Flaherty ‘21

Features Editor

Well friends, it’s that time of year again: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. We’re all taught to be wary of any Friday the 13th, but I think we can all agree that Friday, February 14th is one million percent more horrifying. If you, like me, are terrified of two-week-old couples who claim they love each other, keep reading for Bridget’s Declassified Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.

First, there are plenty of activities available so don’t fret if you don’t have a significant other and a reservation at Via. Go see a movie. If you’re the jaded type, the cinema in Blackstone Valley is playing Fatal Attraction on Valentine’s Day Eve, which is hysterical and totally iconic. If you like nostalgic stories about friendship, life, and love, see Little Women. If you like sweaters, Knives Out is your jam. If you don’t want to leave your room, put on your favorite pair of pj’s and watch P.S. I Still Love You — the sequel to the brilliant film To All the Boys I Loved Before, aka the ship that launched a thousand Noah Centineo fans. Side note: Is he cancelled or are my sources wrong? If he is cancelled, then watch Cheer on Netflix because that show is fantastic. Trust me, after one episode, you’ll be trying to tumble in your dorm room. After two, you’ll be calling your Class Dean and asking to transfer to Navarro College. If you see any bruises on my body, they’re from trying to mimic Navarro’s routine.

If movies aren’t your thing, plan a little get-together with friends and celebrate PAL-ENTINE’S DAY! (I am personally trying to re-name this day as Pal-entine’s Day and it is going about as well as my attempts to become an Instagram Influencer, which clearly isn’t going great considering I’m still in school and not on a sponsored trip to Bali.) Do whatever you and your friends love to do. Gossip, play board games, make Tik Toks, watch that one friend make Tik Toks alone after the rest of you refused to join in, try the stunts from Cheer, play Mario Kart, whatever makes you happy. 

If you’re feeling hopeless, send in an application for The Bachelor/ette. Fair warning, the application is a bit lengthy and tedious. I, for one, was too lazy to take the TWENTY-EIGHT required pictures of myself and bowed out early on. 

Of course, should all this fail, you can always change your name, move to Mexico, buy a small bungalow on the water, waitress at a beachside bar, get super tan, drink lots of piña coladas, fall in love with a surfer, and live happily ever after. 

Photo courtesy of Aquarium of the Pacific.

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