Eggplant

Thank You

Hannah Johnson ‘21

Eggplant Editor

Finally, I am hydrated. My crops are thriving. My skin is clear, and my grades are up. And it’s all thanks to HC’s Health and Wellness department.

This is surely the first time that they “get” me. In fact, surely this is the first time I’ve received an official Holy Cross™ email that condones slacking off. Effervescent.

Elizabeth Drexler-Hines, you don’t even KNOW how much I *need* to procrastinate. But your invitation is a godsend–I will gladly take part in the survey. In fact, I think I will take it 15 times in a row. I think I will take this survey and procrastinate every time I have work to do, receive poor grades as a result, fail my courses, drop out of college, and work on a farm… as a simple beet farmer.

Well, as I said… my crops are flourishing. I am strong and healthy and well thanks to my long hours working the fields. Thank you, wellness programming. I *did* need to procrastinate.

Categories: Eggplant

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