The Sorting Hat

Anne Hentschel ’19

Eggplant Editor

Oh you may not think I’m pretty,

But don’t judge on what you see,

I’ll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I’m the Holy Cross Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There’s nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can’t see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

The Sorting Hat of Holy Cross has spoken.

If you’ve a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, you’re Ravenclaw.

Chemistry, Religious Studies, English, and Philosophy will always find their kind.

Math and Computer Science will also find their home, but they will have a difficult time answering the riddle to get the door open, since words are not their strong suit. Their Philosophy major friends will always be eager to show off their prowess with nonsense and help them get in.

You might belong in Hufflepuff– Where they are just and loyal, like Theater, Visual Arts, and Music.

All those who reside in Beaven (Psychology, Anthropology, Sociology) also find their home by the kitchens, mostly because they like snacks.

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, And unafraid of toil; They spend hours working on productions, concerts, or thesis projects, always with a smile. Without Cedric Diggory, they’re rubbish at Quidditch.

You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Political Science, Modern Languages, and History majors apart;

Or perhaps in Slytherin You’ll make your real friends, with Physics, Classics, Russian (yes they’re in a different house from Modern Languages), and Econ / Accounting majors.

Those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends. When the wizarding world goes to sh*t, they are  usually to blame.

And Liam Prendergast is Head Boy.

So put me on! Don’t be afraid!

And don’t get in a flap!

You’re in safe hands (though I have none)

For I’m a Thinking Cap!

GryffindorRavenclawSlytherinHufflepuff lol
Political ScienceModern LanguagesBiologyHistoryChemReligious StudiesEnglishPhilosophyMath & Computer SciencePhysicsLiam Prendergast is Head Boy Russian (DISTINCT FROM MODERN LANGUAGES)Econ & AccountingTheaterVisual ArtsMusic Anthropology

Categories: Eggplant

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