Liam Prendergast ‘19
In an attempt to garner goodwill and refresh their tarnished public image, the Philosophy Department has released a lip-dub to the hit-song “It Wasn’t Me” by the incomparable Shaggy. While perhaps misguided in their attempt to shift the public eye from their recent scandals, no one can deny this video is not merely a decades-old viral trend, but rather an important work of art.
The performers, the remaining Philosophy Professors that is, perform with an earnestness that is certainly captivating and occasionally sickening. Their dance, which begins timidly, grows into a violent flailing of limbs. Their writhing bodies contort themselves into wicked shapes ignorant of their age or lack of dance experience. Each professor’s eyes gleam with the desperation of someone clinging to a sinking ship. As we watch this Titanic disaster, the band plays on in the background- coaxing the melodious tones of “It Wasn’t Me” from their instruments.
“We chose the song for two main reasons” said a spokesperson from the department. “Firstly we looked into Shaggy because we had heard he was experiencing a sort of second life amongst students.” Of course the Department made a fatal error, confusing the popular Jamaican musician with the eponymous character from 2002 picture Scooby-Doo and its blockbuster follow-up Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Memes of Norville “Shaggy” Rogers have graced our feeds recently, extolling the great power of the character.
“Secondly, the lyrics of the song really spoke to us” continued the Philosophy Department representative. “The profound idea the song puts forth, that you can get out of nearly any situation by committing to complete denial, has really been a guiding light for us in recent months.”
Student response to this video has been mixed, but one student thoughtfully reflected that the lip-dub was the “clearest and most honest communication students have received from the school in years.”
This article appeared in the annual satire edition of the Spire.