Eggplant: The Mooch is Loose

Greg Hausler

Eggplant Editor

On July 21, 2017, Anthony Scaramucci was hired as White House Communications Director. On July 31, 2017, he was fired from the same job. Despite the brevity of his tenure, he showcased more than a few traits that make him a very qualified candidate for a possible White House run in 2020. Let’s start with the self-proclaimed nickname: the Mooch. Many have said that nicknaming yourself is the most explicit show of humility one can make. Humility, as shown by our current president, is a vital trait for a presidential candidate.

Another trait of the Mooch that makes him the perfect candidate is his ability to adhere to the “country over self” mantra of the oval office. When given the opportunity to witness his son’s birth or stay in Washington and work, Mooch picked work. That, my friends, is not only a show of dedication, but also of leadership. Mooch’s underlings know that their boss means business and that, if they were placed in the same situation, a precedent has been set that work must always be prioritized.

Speaking of prioritization, the Mooch’s choice of what facts to share with the #FakeNews media are another reason to bet on him in 2020. Scaramucci famously stated that he has seen President Trump “throw a dead spiral through a tire” and “sink three foot putts.” This, right here, is Scaramucci understanding that wars aren’t won in conference rooms and bunkers but won on the golf course.

Lastly, the trait that catapults the Mooch to the top of the leaderboard for the presidency is his charisma. The Mooch is the Rick Pitino of the White House; he may not have lasted long, but he was smacking his gum and exuding confidence the entire time. If there’s one thing the American people trust, it’s a Long Island guy with slicked back hair telling you to trust him. These traits and many more are reasons to place your bets now on Anthony Scaramucci defeating Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the 2020 Presidential Election.

Categories: Eggplant, Uncategorized

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