Last Day in the White House

The day is January 20, 2017 and Obama is moving out of the White House after eight years of presidency. Barack and Michelle are strolling through the rooms, making sure they didn’t leave anything and reminiscing over the time they spent in the most famous house in the country.

First dogs, Bo and Sunny, are speaking in hushed tones over their impending fate once they leave the White House. “It’s going to be so hard for us not having such important and high-powered jobs,” Sunny whispers to Bo. “Now we’re no longer going to be first dogs; just dogs,” she laments. “Being demoted to a regular dog is fine by me if I get to keep a few of my brown hairs,” Bo says, combing his paws gingerly through his graying fur.

Walking through a hall in the West Wing, Barack and Michelle hear a strange shuffling sound coming from one of the cupboards. Upon opening it, Barack cries out in surprise to see Joe Biden huddled in a corner, surrounded by piles of frozen dinners and basketballs. “Joe!” he exclaims, “What on earth are you doing in here?” “I got scared, Barack,” Biden whimpers, “There’s no way of knowing what the outside world is like. It’s safer in here.”

Kneeling on the marble tile beside the former Vice President, Obama laughs, “As you would say, ‘That’s a bunch of malarkey.’” Standing up, he looks around the closet. “And those frozen dinners aren’t going to keep in here very long,” he adds, “We need to teach you how to cook. You’ll never survive in the real world.”

Leading Biden into the hallway, Obama comments, “I can’t believe that’s where all my basketballs went.” “I thought they might be useful for warding off intruders,” Biden confesses. “Or the 45th president of the United States,” Obama mutters under his breath. “What was that?” Joe asks. “Nothing,” says Obama, “Nothing at all.”

Continuing their walk through the halls of the White House, Barack says to Michelle, “I saw some folks partying down on the end of Pennsylvania Avenue this morning with posters that said, ‘our eight-year sentence is up!’” “It’s all right,” Michelle says, placing an understanding hand on her husband’s shoulder, “I saw some kids getting off the bus from school the other day with the biggest smiles on their faces. I thought it was because they were excited to be getting a wonderful education, but then I saw their arms were full of twinkies!”

As the sun set on their last day in the White House, Barack and Michelle were sipping wine on the front terrace. “It’s been a rough day,” Barack said, before correcting himself: “No, it’s been a rough eight years.” “That’s true,” Michelle agreed. “But there have been good moments. Remember when that restaurant owner was so excited to meet you he picked you up?” They both laughed. “The truth is,” Michelle said, “In a couple of months, people are going to wish they had what they lost—me included. Just kidding!” she added, seeing Barack’s expression.

Categories: Eggplant

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